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Point of No Return in Ocean Gem
18th May 2017, 8:30 AM
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Point of No Return

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Author Notes:
18th May 2017, 8:30 AM

Happy birthday to me!

Yeah, honestly just wanted to make a joke about the old 'point of no return' point in video games. Like seriously that epic moment of looking on FEELS like that sort of moment.

Next page will be tomorrow, friday!

Comments:
18th May 2017, 8:44 AM

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
I hope I get something similar tomorrow.
Happy birthday to you

Seriously, Happy birthday.
So what year are you on?

18th May 2017, 8:55 AM

Happy Birthday. If have any business with your previous age, please do so now.

18th May 2017, 10:01 AM

Am I the only one who thinks that the GM should have up to date copies of all the players' character sheets? Is this why I never get the joke that the GM is suprised by something on a player's character sheet? They literally haven't seen it before?

18th May 2017, 4:08 PM

It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Doom and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere!
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, but save the sheep
For your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Now you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Now that you're the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Black Death has just struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Burn, then rape by firelight
Add _romance_ to life tonight
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
We love children, yes we do
Baked or broiled or in a stew
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
May your deeds with sword and axe
Equal those with sheep and yaks
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you,
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
We brought linen, white as cloud
The women sit and sew your shroud
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
Just be glad the friends you've got
Haven't found out you-know-what
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
I'm a leper, can't you see
Have a birthday kiss from me
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
So far Death you have bypassed
Don't look back, he's gaining fast
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
You must marry very soon
Baby's due by next full moon
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
When you've reached this age you know
That the mind is first to go
On your Birthday! (thud!) Happy Birthday! (thud!)
It's your Birthday (thud!) Happy Birthday (thud!)
You are very, very old
Soon you will be dead and cold
It's your Birthday (thud!) Happy Birthday (thud!)

18th May 2017, 4:08 PM

The Viking Birthday Dirge. You are Welcome!

19th May 2017, 10:56 AM

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what's the matter little friend? You think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we'll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the Pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger's on the button, all they need is an excuse

It doesn't take a military genius to see
We'll all be crispy critters after World War III
There's nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried

(Come on boys and girls, sing along, okay?)

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Wow!

Well, there's a punk in the alley and he's looking for a fight
There's an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there's misery and greed

I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Wow!

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

(Happy birthday!)

And a pinch to grow an inch!

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